


I Never

by rainflash



Category: Nathan Barley (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:31:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainflash/pseuds/rainflash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan does some thinking</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never

I never thought to ask why he couldn't or wouldn't sleep. I never thought to ask why he needed the air to be filled with noise; never wondered what he was trying to drown out. Now that I have thought to ask, it's too late. I always assumed he'd leave me eventually, I just never imagined it would be like this.

I'm such a fucking cunt. I'm only realizing now, as I'm sorting through his things, how little I actually knew about him. I never knew his first name, or that he was a philosophy major at fucking Oxford. And I still don't know how he went from that to spinning at Stanley Knives. I'm finding all these hints and clues about who he was without even trying. It was all there right in front of me the whole time. I'd have known him a whole lot better if I'd been less of a self-absorbed twat and had just opened my eyes. 

But maybe I didn't want to see. Maybe I was so taken with the idea of him being some fairytale creature whose sole purpose was to look after me and make me feel better that I never _wanted_ to see him as a real person. 

I never wanted to think he had demons, so I left him to lose to them alone.


End file.
